Sonically Challenged
by wyldcat
Summary: The sonic screwdriver has a deep, dark secret… Set just after The Doctor Dances. Ninth Doctor, Rose, Jack.


Summary: The sonic screwdriver has a deep, dark secret… Set just after The Doctor Dances. Ninth Doctor, Rose, Jack.

Disclaimer: don't own.

A/N: I have searched ffnet using the trusty search engine as thoroughly as I could, and I'm surprised no one has done this. (Unless I missed something/didn't put in the right keywords.) But if someone has done this before, I'm sorry. I didn't know! And just randomly, no author notes at the bottom either but that's because I have nothing to say. Review anyway, please?

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**Sonically Challenged**

"Where've we landed?" Rose asked, peering over the Doctor's shoulder.

"Earth. Southern hemisphere. Antarctica."

"Antarctica?" Rose glanced at the front doors, half expecting cold, swirling mist to seep through the gaps.

He tapped a few keys. "Antarctica, in the year 8209." He patted the console lovingly. "Exactly where I wanted to go! Now you two, stay here. I've got a little errand to run. Don't mind me, I'll be back in no time. Oh, and you! Don't – do – anything!" he said sternly to Jack who was halfway under the console, looking almost ready to take apart one of the little gadgets taped to a circuit.

"Jack?" Rose asked when he didn't react.

This time he did, hurriedly snatching his hands away from the insides of the TARDIS and automatically threw a killer smile at the thundercloud that was the Doctor's face. "No worries, Doc."

"Rose, keep an eye on him," he said, glaring at Jack who had returned to admiring that particular gadget nonetheless.

"Why can't we visit Antarctica in the year 8209?" she asked curiously.

"8209?" Jack exclaimed, sitting up. "That's the Sonic Age!"

"Sonic Age? You mean where everything's…"

"Sonic-ed. Yep. One of the greatest cultural and technological revolutions – everything's sonic-fied, even the beds. Oh, there was one time…" He caught the look the Doctor gave him and quickly dropped that trail of thought, instead languidly sidling over and linking arms with Rose. "You'll love it Rose, trust me," he said into her ear.

"We can come, right?" she asked the Doctor. By now it wasn't really a question.

The Doctor folded his arms and said to Jack, "At least you won't be messing with my TARDIS." He pulled open the door and let them out.

They had parked in a delivery area behind a row of shops. It was a little chilly, dank and musty in the dusk gloom, but otherwise quite ordinary.

"Well," Jack drawled, but there was laughter in his eyes, "welcome to 8209. Great view, isn't it?" he said sardonically, nudging the Doctor in the ribs.

"Shut it, you," he replied acidly, striding over to the locked steel gates and pushing against them. "Oi, Jack, you got that sonic blaster on you?"

"Always," he grinned.

"Then come here and open this gate so we can get out," he said, waving them over.

"Can't you?" he asked.

He shrugged a little. "Rose likes the squareness, so humour her."

"Sure thing."

He aimed and fired, while the Doctor just shook his head and stalked in front of them. "There are shops round the corner. Go lose yourself in them, all right? I'll be back before you know it." He turned and gave a quick grin to Rose. "See you!"

Rose smiled back and gave him a little wave. Once he was out of earshot, she turned to Jack. "Stop antagonising him!" she scolded.

"Why? He's so _adorable_ when he gets worked up like that!"

"No, trust me, when he actually gets worked up he's really not all that adorable."

"Aww," Jack cooed while pulling a fair imitation of puppy-dog eyes.

Rose erupted into giggles and slapped his arm playfully. "Jack, stop it!"

He chuckled. "Want to visit the shops then?" He held his arm out.

"Actually…" Her eyes followed the Doctor's retreating back where he had just disappeared around a corner. Then she looked back at Jack who had read her mind without even trying.

"What do you think?" he asked, eyebrows raised.

Rose smiled. "Why not?"

They followed the Doctor away from the busy sounds and lights of the shops, further into the side streets and alleys. Rose and Jack exchanged a puzzled glance but kept following him with the gathering darkness on their heels.

After ten minutes of silence, Jack's patience had worn thin. He quietly leaned down and whispered into Rose's ear, "Want to go to the shops now?"

"How?" she whispered back. "Antarctica's like a maze!"

"It _is_ a maze!" he replied, irritated.

Rose sighed. She sped up when she realised they had almost lost sight of the Doctor. "Let's just keep following him, okay?"

"Does he even kn-"

With a dull thud Jack crashed to the ground, knocked out cold. Shocked, Rose spun around and would have screamed at the huge, thickset silhouette standing behind him if someone hadn't clamped a gloved hand over her mouth. Then something hard connected with the back of her skull and she slid into unconsciousness as well.

+O+

Rose awoke to Jack reaching past the metal bars and gently slapping her face. "Rose," he whispered as loudly as he dared. "Hey, wake up."

"Ugh…what?" she mumbled, opening her eyes blearily.

"Nice day, isn't it?" he quipped. "Now, move your head so that it won't get a square hole in it."

"Wha…?"

"Rose, you're leaning against the lock and I don't think the digital rewind button works for people caught in the line of fire."

"Oh! Right," she said, finally coming to her senses. She scuttled back as far as she could and let Jack do his work. "Where are we anyway?"

"Haven't got a clue." The cage door swung open and Rose crawled out, glad to be rid of the claustrophobia. The three foot high cube cage was hardly comfortable.

Rose rubbed the back of her aching head. There was definitely a huge headache coming on. "Did you get knocked out too?"

"Yeah," Jack said. With the flick of a button, the sonic blaster was set to digital rewind and the cage was back to normal.

"By who?"

"Not a clue."

"Oh that's just wonderful," she said, grinning. "I suppose we'd better leg it then?"

"Yeah. This is an ordinary day with the Doctor then?"

"Yep. Hang on, where is he?"

Jack shrugged. "Not here, probably. Come on, let's get back to the TARDIS."

"Wait…" Rose squinted into the darkness. "Is that…?"

She took off at a run, weaving in and out of the cages, some empty, others occupied by various alien species, all asleep. "Doctor!" she whispered loudly when she was sure it was him, all arms and legs cooped up in a similar sized cage.

The Doctor looked up, startled. "Rose? What are you doing here?"

"Getting you out," she said, grinning.

Jack appeared behind her and immediately began to chortle. Increasingly annoyed, the Doctor said testily, "If you don't mind, I'd really like to be let out of here."

"What happened to that sonic screwdriver of yours?" he grinned, eyeing what seemed to be the pieces in the Doctor's lap.

"Nothing," he muttered, stuffing the parts back in his pockets. "Just get me out before someone comes. About now would be good," he added just as several footsteps began to crunch up the gravel pathway. Immediately Jack leapt into action, pointing his blaster towards the sounds. "Don't point that there!" the Doctor said indignantly, forgoing silence. "Point it _here_, you stupid ape!"

Jack began to protest, then quickly turned around and blasted a hole in the lock. The Doctor clambered out, thoroughly disgruntled and pulled Rose behind some crates, who similarly pulled Jack behind them too before he could argue. The shouts were getting nearer.

"Now what?" Jack asked, clearly itching for a fight.

"We…run."

"_What_?"

"That way!" the Doctor pointed.

"Do you even know where you're pointing?"

"Nope! Now, run!" He grabbed Rose's hand and sprinted out from behind the crates, ducking low to avoid the bullets zinging over their heads. Jack paused periodically and took a few out each time, and by pure luck they managed to find a gate that led out of what seemed to be an enclosed compound. What was not so lucky, however, was that the gate was locked.

"No surprises there," Jack said when Rose relayed the Doctor's message to him. "Now hurry up and open it!"

"Well…that may be a bit of a problem," the Doctor began, sounding like he was chatting on a stroll through the park. "It's quite a strange little thing, actually."

"Doc," Jack said between gritted teeth, "just open the damn gate!"

"Surprisingly tricky too," he continued, listening closely to the sound the lock made when he tapped his finger on it.

"Doctor!" Rose said exasperatedly, but with a touch of panic beginning to set in.

"Give me that lock!" Jack yelled, shoving the blaster in the Doctor's hands.

"Uh…how do you change the settings on this?" the Doctor asked, running his fingers over the blaster searchingly. Suddenly another round of shots went off and they dived to the ground, just as the gates swung open. "Ha!" Jack shouted triumphantly and sprinted out, veering off the path into the thick undergrowth with the Doctor and Rose following close behind. Safe in their hiding place, Jack remarked quietly, "Did you see those reloader guns?" He grinned cheekily. "You'd think they could at least afford a sonic pistol!"

"Oi, don't complain!" Rose said breathlessly, but nonetheless she was grinning along with him.

Some hours later, they had managed to lose their cage-loving captors (or 'those technologically challenged primitives', as Jack called them) and eventually find their way back to the TARDIS.

"So what was that little errand you wanted to run, Doc? Or was the 'getting captured part' it?" he asked jokingly.

"The sonic screwdriver needed fixing," he replied after a moment's hesitation. "Nothing much."

"Nothing much?" Jack echoed incredulously.

"Nope!" He gave him a cheerful grin.

"What's wrong with it though?" Rose asked, walking close to him while scrutinising the disassembled parts of it in her hands.

"Broken. Sort of."

"What d'you mean?"

"Out of commission. Temporarily disabled. Something like that."

Jack carefully plucked the sonic screwdriver from Rose's hands, examining it once over and almost immediately he threw back his head and laughed, earning a startled look from Rose. She waited until he had mostly gotten himself back under control before she asked, "What's so funny?"

Jack grinned, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes and deliberately ignored the warning look the Doctor was shooting at him. "It's got flat batteries."

Rose's eyes widened, hardly daring to believe she'd heard him right. "It's got _what_?!" She turned to the Doctor, who was conveniently busying himself with opening the TARDIS's doors. "Oh God," she said, laughing hysterically along with Jack. "That is so _lame_!"

"Rose…" the Doctor warned, and she sympathetically quietened. Hopping up onto the rail circling the console room, she watched as he set the TARDIS to drift in the time vortex.

"Can't you fix it?" she asked quietly.

"I don't know," he replied, a frustrated look on his face as he rotated the screwdriver in his hands. "See, it's been heavily modified to do all sorts of things, so I can't get those normal, off-the-shelf parts to fix it."

"Can't you modify something else? I mean, you do it all the time with the TARDIS."

"Yeah, with the sonic screwdriver.

"Oh."

Meanwhile, Jack had a thoughtful look on his face. "What if…" he slowly while fiddling with the underside of his blaster and shaking out three, slim batteries. "Could you use these?"

He shook his head. "Won't work."

"You'd never know," Jack grinned. "Back home, I used to repair sonic devices. It was a job, by the way, not a hobby."

"Well for a job you didn't do too well with that blaster."

"Hey!" he said in mock defence, "that was my last project. I couldn't exactly fiddle with 83rd century tech during the 20th century!"

"All right," the Doctor said, grudgingly handing over his sonic screwdriver. "Give it a go."

+O+

Jack looked at the Doctor expectantly while he tested various settings and dismantled small sections of it with a frown of concentration. "Do you know," the Doctor said at last, "those AC batteries shouldn't have worked with this."

"No, it shouldn't have."

"The voltage from the battery should have fried the heat regulator."

"Yes, it should have."

"I should be seeing transformers. Lots of transformers. Resistors, even!"

"Yes, you should be."

The Doctor finally looked up. "Do you mind?"

Jack beamed. "Not at all."

Now desperate to find _something_ wrong with it, he said, almost childlike, "I _liked_ DC!"

"But you have to admit, AC presents so many more opportunities. Creating DC transformers was just the icing on the cake. AC, however, frees up a lot of room for more settings, if you want. Check out that crazy sound effect you put in too."

"What about it?" the Doctor asked sharply.

"I made it sound better, of course! AC's just sine waves – perfectly built for sound."

The Doctor pressed the button and listened closely. "Not bad," he conceded at last, though secretly he was pleased.

"Um, hello?" Rose said, waving a hand up and down between their faces to get attention. "Translate, anyone?"

The Doctor smiled. "He made my sonic screwdriver better."

Jack rolled his eyes. "Finally he admits it…" he muttered.

"Careful!" the Doctor warned, shaking the new and improved sonic screwdriver under his nose. "Don't insult the designated driver!"

"I didn't!"

"But you were _going_ to!"

"Hey!" Rose said loudly. "Would you stop arguing already? It used to be entertaining, but now it's not."

The Doctor shrugged and walked around to the other side of the console, trying to conceal the fact that he was happily stroking the sonic screwdriver like a baby. Rose and Jack didn't miss anything though.

"So Doc, about that spatio-temporal stabiliser –"

"It's called a gyroscope, Jack."

Rose rolled her eyes heavenward and sighed. "What is it with men and big words?"

"Spatio-temporal stabiliser," Jack repeated loudly, "which is breathtakingly important to a beautiful time ship like this but unfortunately got taped to the underside of the console with –

"Get on with it, Jack."

"Can I fix it?"

"I'll think about it," the Doctor replied. But he was smiling.

END


End file.
